Remembering Avon

Remembering Avon    7/13/1925  - 11/22/2012
By Tammy Compton Hauge

My mother passed away peacefully last November surrounded by her children Terry Ann, Todd, Me,  Tina,  her oldest granddaughter Monica,  and her loving husband.  Tim and family were enroute from Michigan and arrived in time for the funeral. 

My dad had the funeral well-planned, with ideas about the music, the program, the displays and the things he wanted everyone to remember about my mom and her life. 

Didn't Terry Ann do a nice job on the funeral program? 

Our last family reunion (in 2011) was "All About Avon,"  with a biography that he put together, and comments from everyone,  a collection of her complete poems,  some documentation about my Mom's  business and her contributions to developing children's visual aids and visual learning with her flannel board stories and her pioneering effort to make learning fun and interesting for children.  Although my Mom was quite disabled by her Alzheimers at our last reunion,  she did enjoy reading about her life and seeing the pictures in the biography we put together.   I think it's wonderful to honor our loved ones while they are alive, and recognize their accomplishments together in a celebration of life,  not just at the time of the funeral.    It touched my heart to see all the grandchildren spending time with my mom at that last family reunion,   and showing her love and affection.

To summarize my Mom's life is impossible,  but I feel I should try to record some of the highlights and things that made her so memorable.

My mother kept a detailed scrapbook and journal of her early life as the youngest of a big family who farmed in Idaho,  then moved to Salt Lake City.  She said her childhood was happy. 

She did tell us that  her parents had their  differences, as she was growing up,  and when her parents divorced (she was 16) she didn't see her father again until many years later.    She played the violin,  performed in many symphonies and orchestras,  but her dad never attended any of her programs, or her high school graduation.  It seems to me that her mother,  sister Jane and brother John encouraged her and influenced her to get a good education and go on a mission and helped fill the void left by her father.   My Uncle John gave her the money to go on her mission, and she wholeheartedly wanted to go.  It was on her mission where she met my dad,  and got to know him as they served together in the Denver area of the Spanish American mission in 1947.  My dad was just starting his mission after his military service when she was just finishing up her mission.   She waited for him for almost two years while he served his mission,  and they got to know each other through letters.  In the meantime,  she got her bachelor's degree in Childhood Education and began teaching first grade.

My dad finished his mission in 1949 and my parents  were married in 1950.  My dad was just starting to work on his bachelor's degree and Terry Ann and Todd came along while they lived in student housing at BYU.  The family lived under rough circumstances in Bryce Canyon where my dad was a ranger once summer, and the trailer they lived in did not even have plumbing.  My Mom was a trooper through all this--and didn't complain.

The family moved to Lost Angeles in 1954 so my dad could begin his Ph.D. at UCLA.  My mom taught a preschool class for the families in student housing,  so Terry and Todd were able to attend the pre-school and be with her while she worked.

 I was born and the family had three children in the one room apartment where my parents had a fold out couch in the living room and the three children slept in the bedroom.  The family made many friends and enjoyed church and family activities. 

In 1959 my dad was hired as a professor  at Adams State College in Alamosa, Colorado.  My parents finally had their first home,  and I know my Mom loved it.  Tim came along,  and my Mom taught a morning private kindergarten and an afternoon Spanish class for the neighborhood kids after school.  I was pre-school age at the time, and so  I got to take part in both of those,  and enjoyed them very much.  I remember there were puppet shows,  plays,  songs,  coloring and best of all, having other kids to play with all the time.  In her spare time,  my Mom started writing her flannel board stories and selling subscriptions.  She drafted all of us kids to draw the pictures and help with the book assembly.

In 1963 we lived in Roy, Utah for a year when my Dad taught at Weber State,  and then he was hired at BYU and we moved to Provo where we were to live for the next 25 years.  My mom kept writing stories and selling them as little booklets, which she could do part time and could involve the rest of the family in writing, illustrating and assembling the flannel board stories.

Tina was born after we moved into the Provo "dream house,"  with the big backyard,  view of the city and mountains all around us.  It was a wonderful spot,  and we were all very happy there.    My parents hosted many Sunday dinners with guests from the ward or extended family often joining us,  and many enchilada parties for my Dad's classes or faculty friends. 

My mother loved the gospel of Jesus Christ and her membership and service in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  She held many church callings from Relief Society President to Stake Primary President, but her favorite was as Primary chorister.  She had marvelous illustrations, drawings and fun ways to teach and motivate the kids.  She fully supported my dad when he was bishop of the ward,  and they both sacrificed time and energy to the well being of the ward and neighborhood.  Throughout our childhoods, we had daily prayers with the family, kneeling in the front room before we started our day,  and inidividually kneeling at our beds before bedtime.   The way she lived her daily life spoke to her faith.

My mother enjoyed extended travels through Europe,  Peru and Mexico  with my Dad as he did research and when he was the director for BYU study abroad programs several times.  She loved exploring and learning about the countries where she traveled,  getting to know the people and making friends.  While in Peru,  she gave a workshop about children's stories,  and she wrote some stories which illustrated the history and culture of that country.   Hundreds of teachers attended the workshop in downtown Lima,  and were enthusiastic and  interested in her topic and her visual aids she had created.

She began to sketch the sights and scenes she saw on her travels,  and ended up with several beautiful sketch books of the areas she visited. 

When my Dad retired and they moved to St. George,  they enjoyed serving a part time mission together.

My mom took up tennis, and she and my dad enjoyed  playing tennis together, going to music programs and hosting family reunions. 

On family visits, we hiked,  explored the canyons,  galleries, museums and shops of southern Utah.  At age 70, my mom taught the 8 year olds in her ward Primary for several years and was adored by her students.

  I used to like to go with her to  see how her students loved her, and she loved them. She  learned to play the organ and sent out hundreds of letters, postcards, quilts, tea towels, books and gifts to friends and family, near and far.

In her mid seventies she began to have some memory loss, problems with her knees and trouble with walking.  My dad helped her with everything and wanted to be with her as much as possible.  It was hard to see her frustration with her memory and ability to function.

In her eighties,  my mom had continued memory loss and physical weakness, but she always loved being with  family and especially babies and children.  At family reunions,  you could always see her with a young child,  cuddling and loving the babies of the family. 

She enjoyed singing and listening to music,  and we spent a lot of time singing together in the last years of her life.

In her final years, my Mom needed a lot of help and supervision, so she lived at Heritage  Place in Bountiful and my Dad visited her every day.  As you can see from this blog,  he has spent some of his free time writing poetry about the meaningful times in his life,  most of which involved my Mom.  I'm glad we were able to show her the poetry he wrote about her and share that with her while she was with us.

In her final years,  I'm very grateful that  Mom  has had many visits from family, grandchildren and great grandchildren,  which I think shows a wonderful example to the young children in the family. 

In her last year,  because of her Alzheimers,  my Mom found it difficult to talk,  and would express herself in smiles and gestures--how we missed hearing her voice.   The week before she passed away,  my dad,  my daughter, granddaughter and  I visited her and she rallied from being in bed sick with pneumonia which was making her so weak.  In spite of her illness,  she sat  up to play with her youngest grandchild,  Delaney, and you could see how happy she was to see  Delaney there.  One of my last, and most precious memories of my mom,  is her holding out her hand to Delaney and having Delaney put her little hand into my Mom's  and seeing their fingers entwined. 

The funeral was a fitting tribute to a remarkable mother, wife, grandmother, educator, artist, musician, writer and disciple of Christ.  It was wonderful to see friends and family from near and far and to share stories and memories of  my Mom,  and music that was meaningful and touching.  The printed funeral program that Terry Ann designed,  was a work of art, combining photos of my mom,  her artwork, and poetry. It was a privelege to display my mother's  beautiful quilts, tea towels, flannelboard stories, visual aids sketches, scrapbooks and photos before and after the funeral and to see the grandchildren and great grand children looking at them and enjoying them. 

One of the best things about my mom,  was she was a happy person,  enthusiastic about life, positive and loving.  She was always learning something new, making new friends and trying to make the world a better place.  She is greatly missed--how much I enjoyed having her as one of my best friends during my adult years, and how lucky I am to have had that happy time with her.  

My Mom had been the center of my Dad's life for so long, that we couldn't imagine what he would do without her.  He has carried on admirably, though,  with what he thinks are the most important things of life--family, church, music and learning.  He continues to write, research,  learn and serve.  As he says,  "it's what Avon would want me to do." 


Tammy Compton Hauge
May 8th, 2013

A MEMORABLE DAY – March 15, 2013

A MEMORABLE DAY – March 15, 2013
by Merlin Compton

[On Facebook I promised I would write in more detail about this day, so here is what I promised. I have divided it in two sections. Section A is what happened at the Zoo and Section B is about the missionary concert that night. You can read one or both.]

A. The Zoo

Tina and I met Mariah and her six children and Tammy and Ladd today in Hogle Zoo. The weather was ideal and everybody was in good spirits. I was amazed at how well Mariah managed with her children, including six year old Tylee and four year old twins Trevan and Tosh.  Talon (15), Tayson (12 in May) and Tessa (10 in July) are old enough to help with the three youngest, and they helped a lot.  Mariah was like a Mother hen; she knew where everybody was and kept a constant eye out for Trevan and Tosh, who tended to wander and sometimes didn’t always want to do what they should–just full of energy, those two, and not really disobedient, but exploring the world in their own fashion. Mariah also brought snacks for everybody. How thoughtful! Tina helped with the twins also, carrying them around and helping them walk on the low wall.

[If you don’t care about tennis you can skip this paragraph.]I talked at length with Talon about his tennis. He is on the Payson High School team and plays doubles. When I was in Santaquin I used to practice my serve on the same courts where he now plays. He told me about playing on the team and how exciting that was. I never did play on a school team. We had a tennis team in high school but I wasn’t good enough to play on it. I gave Talon my standard advice. First, keep the ball in play and let your opponent make a mistake. More points are lost than won. Second, make sure you put the second serve in play with something on it. You can’t afford to lose a single point and you can’t make it so easy that your opponent can return it for a winner. Enough of tennis, but I must say that I enjoyed talking with Talon. As a grandpa I don’t get many opportunities to talk with my grandchildren.

I talked with Mariah about the young man, Cam Steel from Pleasant Grove, who is going to marry Marin, Mariah’s sister.  Mariah said that they met on a blind date and that he plans to work on a Master’s degree. He works at UVU and comes from an LDS family. That is about as much as she knows about him.

Then she told me about Tayson. It seems that he has the indexing bug and loves to spend time processing names. She told me that when it is getting late he pleads with her to let him do indexing for an hour or so. She says that she always gives in.  How could she deny his doing something like that?  Later I found out that Talon also enjoys indexing, which is wonderful to hear.

I have been trying to ask myself why that time at Hogle Zoo was so special.  First, I was able to be with two daughters, one son-in-law, one granddaughter and six great grandchildren, and in a situation where I could see them in an informal way-- see them as they really are.  In my circumstances, living here in Salt Lake, my visits with them, except for those with Tammy, Ladd, and Tina, are very brief and formal. Even when we have reunions I find it difficult to talk with my grandchildren and get to know them. Now that Avon is no longer with me I find it more important than ever to be with family and do more than just give a few hugs. So it was a memorable day with loved ones.  There are too few of them.

B. Concert at the Assembly Hall

Now to the concert in the Assembly Hall. First let me provide a few facts about this historic building. The year was 1880 and April Conference was held in the Assembly Hall under the direction of President John Taylor. The Temple would not be finished until 1893, thirteen years later. The Tabernacle had been finished in 1867 so why not hold the Conference there? Evidently the Church leaders wanted to draw attention to the dedication of the Assembly Hall.

The Conference in 1880 was held during the fiftieth anniversary of the organization of the Church and several special events took place during this Conference. First, the Pearl of Great Price was sustained as scripture and thus became part of the scriptural canon. Second, the Doctrine and Covenants, with some changes, was re-canonized and third, those who still owed money to the Perpetual Emigration Fund would have their debt reduced by half. What was going on in the world in 1880? Thomas Edison displayed his incandescent bulb for the first time, Gilbert and Sullivan presented "Pirates of Penzance" and Rodin finished his "Thinker." So it was a very eventful year within and outside of the Church.

As I entered the Assembly Hall on March 15, I was struck by the fact that everywhere I looked I saw lady missionaries holding flags. They filled the choir seats and were lined up on both sides of the hall. I marveled at how wholesome they looked, beautiful, happy and though modestly dressed, all in clothes that were bright and appealing. I learned that there were 191 of them in the hall, all smiling and delighted to be there. Each missionary held a flag, mostly of the United States but many of foreign countries. Of those who would perform I saw that there were thirty different countries represented and in the entire group there were fifty countries from which some of these missionaries came. Talk about a United Nations! Here are some of the unusual countries represented that night – Latvia, Russia, Tahiti, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Tonga, Fiji, Taiwan, Bolivia, Finland, Honduras and Armenia.

Then they began to sing "Called to Serve" and those on the sides marched to the front waving their flags. When all were in front, all of them, including those in the choir seats, sang with gusto waving their flags wildly. What a sight! And what a feeling! Many a moist eye and many goose bumps. After the song ended, those not performing marched to the rear of the building and up the stairs to take their seats in the balcony.

As I contemplated the scene I began to wonder, where will they find 191 young men worthy to marry them? Where will they find young men dedicated to give a part of their lives to bring people to Christ the way these young ladies have done? Where will they find young men of high ideals who want to marry in the Temple and raise a family in the Gospel? Where will they find young men as pure and as spiritual as they are? Maybe returned missionaries will fit these qualifications. I firmly believe that in general women are more spiritual than men. I hope that the spirit will lead these wonderful young ladies, angels I call them, to men who will measure up to their character and their spiritual expectations.

What about the song they were singing, "Called To Serve"? Actually it has quite a history. In 1985 a meeting was being held in the Assembly Hall attended by all of the mission presidents in the Church and Area Representative and Regional Representatives. All of a sudden missionaries from the MTC marched into the Assembly Hall singing "Called to Serve" and waving flags of many different countries. The effect was electrifying. From an editorial in the Church News we read that, "the experience was so moving that tears were flowing and deep emotions were stirred." Everyone there agreed that it should be in the hymn book that was being prepared and so it was the last hymn approved for the 1985 hymn book. To recognize the lady missionaries the following verse was added:

Called to preach the gospel of all nations,
On the mount a banner is unfurled.
Sisters, couples, serving all together,
From all corners of the world.

As they performed I saw a young lady who looked very much like Jessica, Tim and Virginia’s daughter, and a violinist who reminded me of Avon. Here is an idea of some of the numbers they performed: Medley from "The Sound of Music," "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini," "Volare," "I Am an Australian" (sung by four missionaries from Australia), New Zealand folk song, Hawaiian song, "Amazing Grace," and "Joy in the Morning." So there was a wide variety of music performed. Some of the songs were especially meaningful for me. In the medley of "The Sound of Music" was "My Favorite Things," a song that Avon and I sang many times in Heritage Place and one that Tammy, Tina, Avon and I sang in the sing-a-longs we held in Santaquin where Avon was living in an assisted living facility. That song Tammy put in a collection of songs we used for the sing-a-longs. Also in that collection is "Amazing Grace," one of our favorite songs. Countless times Avon and I sang that song together. The words in the Hawaiian song sounded like the Tahitian language my Mother and Father used to sing as I was growing up. They always used to say that the two languages had a lot in common.

As anyone can imagine I didn’t like that program to end. However, they sang two songs as an encore and it just so happened that they sang two of Avon’s favorite Primary songs. All through the evening I was thinking of how what transpired that evening related to me -- Avon as a missionary and a violinist, of Jessica as a missionary in Peru, of my parents serving a mission in Tahiti and of my precious memories of songs I sang with Avon and in the sing-a-longs.

                   Picture of Jessica Compton (now Barlow) to the right on her mission in Peru.

What were the encore songs? "I Feel My Savior’s Love" and "My Heavenly Father Loves Me." More memories: Avon as the music director in Primary, and Avon and I singing all of the songs in the Primary song book together, from beginning to the end. Did we know all of them? No, but we would stumble our way through them anyway, even if we didn’t know them. Of course we would always sing Avon’s song, "The Nativity Song." I don’t think she fully appreciated that she had written the words for the song but she always liked to see her name at the end of the song along with the name of the lady who composed the music, Patricia Kelsey Graham. One other song we always sang was "I Wonder When He Comes Again," all about Jesus and little children which was one of Avon’s favorite themes. I knew that the song touched Avon very deeply so I memorized it and sang it for her when she was too tired to sing. In her last years, even when she wasn’t able to sing she would look at me and smile and hold my hand when I sang that song to her.

Musings? Random thoughts? I plead guilty. Memories, only memories I wanted to share, especially with my loved ones. A special day that I wanted to preserve in writing. Family, music, missionaries all wrapped up together. And love? Yes for all of those items, especially for missionaries, for Joseph Compton, who now serves as a missionary in California. Indeed a very special day that I didn’t want to end.

Picture of Elder Joseph Compton on the left

Merlin Compton
March 17, 2013